What Did I Ever Do To You Jack?

This post is being written to my old friend Jack (you know...the freaky looking white-ball headed guy with a cone hat from Jack in the Box).


Dear Jack,

We have been good friends ever since we first met in Hawaii. You were always there for me when I needed you...you know, on those nights I could not face eating the marinated spam and rice my boyfriend took me out for.

Our relationship grew when I was working in California. Again you were there for me when I needed you...when I needed to take a break from the same old same old cafeteria food I was being forced to live off of.

Again we met here in Texas...and we live so close to one another this time. I was thrilled. You were my families first choice for burgers our first night here alone in our apartment. Last night you were our first thought after being completely disappointed by the disgusting healthy choice meals we tried to choke down.

But right now I am left wondering what I ever did to you Jack to deserve what you did to me? Why did your sourdough burger leave me vomiting in the wee hours of the night and early morning? Why Jack? Why?

Now I unfortunately do not think we can be as good of friends as we have been in the past. I definitely am going to need to spend some time away from you...until the trauma of your mean trick is far behind me.

Thanks for all the good memories...and NO THANKS for what you did last night.

Farewell Jack, farewell.